As a dad, I don’t get the disconnect between working moms and at home moms. Can I call it a rivalry?
ConnecticutWorkingMoms is one of the best parenting blogs in Connecticut.
The MOMS Club, with chapters in Enfield, Manchester/East Hartford, Middletown and Wethersfield, says on its web site: “We are a support group designed just for you, the at-home mother of today!”
When my wife was home after having Reid, suffering from postpartum depression, I searched the web for a group of moms she could join in town. The Wethersfield MOMS Club came up. But she couldn’t join. She would return to work after a 16-week maternity leave.
I totally get that at home moms can have challenges with socializing with adults and how hectic their lives are.
You only have to read a ‘Day In The Life’ feature on ConnecticutWorkingMoms to appreciate how difficult it is for moms to juggle a job outside the home, child care and family life.
Truth is, my wife would love to be an at home mom. From the time we started dating in our teens, she said she’d like to not have a job outside the home when our children were young.
In our late 20s, I supported her taking three years off from work to go to grad school full-time.
I talked to our landlord about buying the duplex in Old Wethersfield that we lived in and continuing to live upstairs while renting out the first floor apartment. Then he rented to some less than desirable neighbors who trashed the place. So we decided not to buy it, and bought our house.
After we found out we both carried the CF gene, we accepted we’d be spending tens-of-thousands on IVF to try and have a second child.
For better or worse, grad school paid off. My wife makes a lot more money than I do.
If life played out differently, my wife would be an at home mom. I have some guilt that I can’t see a way to make that happen for our family.
Now that we are in the toddler stage, I’d be happy being a stay at home dad — I didn’t love the infant stage. My best friend was an at home dad when his kids were younger.
We all have our story about why we do or do not work outside the home. Maybe you can help me understand the divide between working moms and at home moms. More importantly, maybe we all can help bridge that gap.